Un-Review: Snickers Ehh-spresso

Your totally unnecessary inside un-scoop on the newish Snickers Espresso, brought to you by CeCe O’Neill.  ++TL;DR & pros/cons at the conclusion of this impeccably composed prose, you internet monsters.

Not sponsored in any way. Open to it though @MarsGlobal. I see a @Snickers series coming on… hit my DM’s if you’re lurkin’. 

lookers

Judging:

You know how they switched the packaging from saying “Snickers” to putting a different word on every one but still using the same font? That’s fun, right? I think so. snickers Coke does it with people’s names. Sprite did it with Drake lyrics (I think?). Then on the opposite end, a lot of big enough to know better too big to care companies have straight up stolen the exact words and exact fonts created by small scale brands and independent designers for millennia! Anyay… Branding is a cool thing to be able to sway from once you’re already the popular girl in school with nice hair- I mean an established candy bar or corporation.

WELL this Trixie showed up as “IRRITABLE?”

download

How.dare.they.

I mean… fine. It is espresso flavored*, which does go hand in hand with the idea that being without a snack (Snickers) or coffee (espresso) would indeed make one irritable. Or as I call it: me most of the time since November 7th 2016 – apparently there’s no Snickers for that, but I digress.

*(ESPRESSO WITH OTHER NATURAL FLAVORS to be exact yet not exact at all)

nose, smelling

Quick Whiff: 

I opened it and the scent of coffee wafted to my nostrils, but also it maybe just smelled like your pee after drinking Starbucks? Which in my defense, still smells like the coffee at Starbucks pre-pee but I never seem to notice until, well.

mouf

Taste Test:

I won’t lie to you, oh internet skimmers, I took bite one and then decided the world needed my hot take. So I put down my coffee-inspired-treat and started from the beginning. By the time I got to this part of what might as well be a TED Talk, I needed BITE TWO. Which led me to feel…

Less than wowed.

It pretty much tasted like an original Snickers but with an aftertaste that hinted at “hm, maybe it’s a little different?” and that’s not a taste, friends, that’s a just a thought I had because I was searching for a punch. I got more of a nudge.

But overall, I’m fine with that because sometimes a plain ole Snickers is just what the non-doctor ordered. Every flavor of Snickers tastes good, okay!!

 

In summary,

(see below)

Overall Un-Review TL;DR:

MMM. Good. Would eat again but will prob just stick to the original one so my brain doesn’t have to search for tastes.

Pros:

  • Didn’t leave me with coffee breath.
  • Gave me a writing prompt
  • Would be fun in a “coffee themed gift basket”!
  • Was candy
  • Was a Snickers
  • Was chocolate
  • Was easy to impulse buy near the register at the Walgreens by my house

Cons:

  • Was easy to impulse buy near the register at the Walgreens by my house
  • Did not make me rich
  • Did not substitute real coffee
  • I thought about urine while writing a food-related review
  • I used the word urine twice in a food-related review

 

About the Author:

FaceGraphicShortHair_BW2CeCe O’Neill is a non-doctor that talks about pee/pee-smell far less often than it probably seems. She doesn’t think eating a Snickers will make her rich but just ONE TIME she’d like to open a chocolate bar and find a golden ticket (one for real money though). CeCe hasn’t eaten an Espresso Snickers since this review, but not because she hasn’t looked at the Walgreens by her house – they were gone – CeCe is a giver of second chances and is open to trying again in the near future.

 

 

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